Chapter 32: A-Xiang’s Kitchen-Style Card Tricks—Arranging Cards Like Dishes

Underworld Poker: From Landlord to Six-Chong, Volume 2, Chapter 32: Ah Xiang’s "Kitchen Strategy": Arranging Cards Like Produce

During the intermission, Meng Po cleared away the sweet soup bowls, leaving only one empty bowl for Ah Xiang to store her cards. Finding the stone table too messy, Ah Xiang pulled a piece of coarse cloth from her bamboo basket, spread it over the corner of the table, and dumped her cards onto it, shuffling them about as if she were arranging vegetables. Old Zhou, clutching his "lucky cabbage," squatted nearby and grew more curious as he watched. "Sister Ah Xiang, you’ve laid these cards out just like the vegetable stalls in our neighborhood market, reds on one side, blacks on the other. What are you doing?"

"That’s because you don’t understand!" Ah Xiang didn't look up, sorting the hearts and diamonds to the left, and the spades and clubs to the right. "Red cards are the 'meat dishes,' and black cards are the 'vegetables.' You have to keep them tidy to remember them—just like how I have to separate my ingredients before I start cooking; otherwise, if they get mixed up, the flavor won't be right!" As she spoke, she stacked the red cards on the left into small piles: some with three of a kind, some with sequences of five. The pile in the very center was the most substantial, and she had even weighted it down with a cabbage leaf.

Little Li leaned in, his yellow paper notebook still holding the "Kitchen Strategy Poem" he had just written. Pointing at the pile weighted with the cabbage leaf, he asked, "Sister Ah Xiang, what kind of 'dish' is this? It’s weighted down with a cabbage leaf—are you worried it’ll blow away?"

"That’s the 'Braised Pork' pile!" Ah Xiang patted the cards, her voice filled with pride. "Four of a kind is like a well-stewed pot of braised pork; you have to press it down hard, or the 'aroma' will escape!"

Wang Er-Ma, having just finished shelling a sunflower seed, realized something as he heard this. He had suspected Ah Xiang's arrangement was suspicious, and now, looking at that perfectly square, thick stack of cards under the cabbage leaf, he was almost certain it was a bomb. He leaned in, feigning curiosity. "Oh, this 'braised pork' looks quite hearty. You must have cooked it over high heat, right?"

"You bet!" Ah Xiang, oblivious, continued to fiddle with the black cards on the right. "That stack of spades 3 through 7 is 'stir-fried greens,' and that stack of club 10s is 'cold-tossed wood-ear mushrooms.' In a moment, I'll play the 'greens' first, then follow up with the 'braised pork.' I guarantee you won't be able to top it!"

The Judge tapped his "counting abacus" from the side, the beads clattering. "Break’s over. Let’s resume the match. Team Ah Xiang leads."

Ah Xiang quickly gathered her cards, grabbing the "stir-fried greens" (spades 3-7 sequence) with her left hand and shielding the "braised pork pile" (four 5s) with her right, placing them in the center of the stone table. "Serving the 'stir-fried greens' first—a 3-7 sequence. Have a taste!"

Wang Er-Ma looked at Old Zhou, and Old Zhou shook his head quickly—he had no sequence higher than a 3-7. Little Li also shuffled through his cards, frowning. "I only have a 4-8 sequence, but I'm missing an 8, so it’s incomplete..."

"Then I’ll take back my 'greens' for now!" Ah Xiang said triumphantly, reaching for the "braised pork pile" in the center. Suddenly, Wang Er-Ma shouted, "Wait! Sister Ah Xiang, your 'greens' are fresh enough, but I have a plate of 'stir-fried long beans' here. They’re longer than your 'greens'—can you top that?"

"Stir-fried long beans?" Ah Xiang was stunned. "What stir-fried long beans?"

Wang Er-Ma pulled out his card—it was actually just a single King. He was teasing Ah Xiang, wanting to see if that "braised pork pile" was indeed a bomb. But before he could place the card on the table, Old Zhou tugged at his sleeve and whispered, "Master Ma, I... I have a 5-9 sequence! I can top her 3-7! I couldn't find it a second ago, but I found it now!"

"Why didn't you say so earlier!" Wang Er-Ma was both surprised and delighted, quickly tucking the King away. "Play it! Let her see your 'stir-fried long beans'!"

Old Zhou took a deep breath, slammed the 5-9 sequence onto the table, and his voice was louder than before. "5-9 sequence, topping your 3-7! This is 'stir-fried long beans,' and it's longer than your 'greens'!"

When Ah Xiang saw that he really could top it, she curled her lip, retracted her hand from the "braised pork pile," and went back to fussing over the black cards on the right. "Fine, you’re good! Then I’ll serve the 'cold-tossed wood-ear mushrooms'—a pair of 10s!"

"I have a pair of Jacks!" Old Zhou’s reaction was quick this time, and he slapped down the pair of Jacks. "This is 'cold-tossed cucumber'—crunchier than your 'mushrooms'!"

Ah Xiang was starting to feel anxious. She had intended to play in the order of "vegetables first, meat later," but she hadn't expected Old Zhou to be so effective today, shutting down even her "vegetable dishes." She grabbed the red cards on the left, flipping through them until she reached the cabbage-leaf-weighted "braised pork pile." Just as she was about to lay it down, she hesitated—she was afraid this "braised pork" would be bombed by Wang Er-Ma.

Wang Er-Ma had seen it all. He pointed directly at the "braised pork pile" and asked, "Sister Ah Xiang, why hasn't your 'braised pork' been served yet? We're all waiting to have a taste!"

"I... I haven't stewed it until it's tender yet!" Ah Xiang insisted, tucking the cards further under the cloth. "I'll serve it later. For now, here’s a plate of 'scrambled eggs'!" She pulled out a single 5 and placed it on the table. "A single 5—'scrambled eggs'!"

"I have a single 6!" Little Li rushed to play, making up a line of verse: "Ah Xiang plays an egg, I play a six; scrambled eggs aren't as fragrant as beans. By the time your braised pork arrives, our bomb will be ready!"

Ah Xiang was choked by this verse. She stared at Little Li’s single 6, then back at her "braised pork pile," and suddenly realized—Wang Er-Ma and his team must have known it was a bomb all along! She hurriedly pulled the pile out and counted—four 5s, definitely a bomb. But because she had arranged them so neatly and used a cabbage leaf as a weight, it stood out from the other piles; even a fool could tell what it was.

"Oh, you guys!" Ah Xiang was both angry and amused. She picked up the cabbage leaf used to weigh down the cards and handed it to Wang Er-Ma. "You knew this was a bomb from the start, didn't you? You were just playing with me!"

"What do you mean, playing with you?" Wang Er-Ma took the cabbage leaf and passed it to Old Zhou. "We were just being observant—you arranged your cards like a vegetable stall, separating the red and black so clearly, and that pile in the middle was even pressed down with a cabbage leaf. If that’s not a bomb, what is? Even Auntie Zhang, who runs the meat stall at our neighborhood market, doesn't arrange her wares as neatly as you!"

Old Zhou nodded in agreement. "That's right! All the vendors in our neighborhood arrange their goods like that—the best produce is always in the middle, covered with a leaf so it doesn't get picked over!"

Ah Xiang had nothing left to say. She slapped the four 5s onto the table, deciding to just give up. "Fine! You win! Here is your 'braised pork'—a four-5 bomb. Beat that if you can!"

Wang Er-Ma had been waiting for this. He pulled out his own four 6s and slammed them down. "This is 'braised pork ribs'—more expensive than your 'braised pork.' I win!"

Ah Xiang’s two teammates looked at each other and shook their heads—they didn't have a larger bomb. Ah Xiang looked at Wang Er-Ma’s four 6s, then at the neatly arranged cards on her table, and suddenly laughed. "I give up. Who knew being organized would be such a mistake? Next time, I’ll arrange my cards like a 'stew'—let's see if you can figure it out then!"

"Then we'll be looking forward to your 'stewed cards'!" Wang Er-Ma said with a smile. "But this time, your 'braised pork' has been topped by our 'pork ribs'!"

The Judge, clacking his abacus to record the score, couldn't help but interject: "Ah Xiang, don't arrange your cards like produce next time. It makes your hand too obvious. The rules don't explicitly forbid it, but it's not a good habit. Be more careful next time."

Ah Xiang nodded and swept her cards into a messy heap, no longer bothering to categorize them. "Understood! Next time I'll arrange them like a 'stew' so you won't be able to guess!" As she spoke, she took a cabbage from her bamboo basket and placed it on the stone table. "But I lost this round, so take this cabbage as a 'losing gift'!"

Old Zhou eagerly took it, placed it next to his "lucky cabbage," and grinned from ear to ear. "Thanks, Sister Ah Xiang! I’ve got two cabbages now; I can make a whole plate of greens!"

Little Li pulled out his yellow paper notebook and wrote another line: "Ah Xiang’s cards like a produce stall, red and black gave her away. Master Ma saw the bomb plot, won the cabbage and laughed with glee!" He read it aloud, and the whole table burst into laughter.

Meng Po arrived with a fresh pot of sweet soup and handed a bowl to Ah Xiang. "Don't be upset. Next time you arrange your 'stewed cards,' I’ll watch for you so they can't see them!"

Ah Xiang took the sweet soup, sipped it, and nodded. "You're the best, Meng Po! Next time I play against Team Ma, I’ll definitely use 'stewed cards' to win—I'll make them taste my 'stir-fried bomb'!"

Wang Er-Ma waved his hand, laughing. "We'll be waiting! As long as you don't arrange them like vegetables, we'll be happy to play!"

The breeze in the card room picked up again, carrying the scent of sweet soup and the crisp smell of cabbage. Ah Xiang gathered her cards into a pile, no longer sorting them, but the smile on her lips was impossible to hide. She realized that playing against Team Ma was much more interesting than any other team; even when she lost, it was a joy.