Volume One Chapter 1: I, Gu Changsheng, Am a Professional Slacker
My head aches terribly.
That was the first thought to cross Gu Changsheng’s mind as he regained consciousness.
He wasn’t sprawled atop a luxurious, king-sized bed after a night of heavy drinking—instead, he found himself in a grand hall, with steps carved of pure white jade and pillars wrought from divine gold.
Beneath him was a throne hewn from a single piece of primordial amethyst crystal.
“Young master, you’re awake.”
A voice, aged yet powerful, sounded within the hall.
Gu Changsheng strained to lift his gaze and saw an elderly man garbed in plain grey robes, his presence as deep and vast as the sea, standing respectfully with a deep bow.
It was the steward—Old Fu.
Fragments of memory surged into his mind.
He, Gu Changsheng, had transmigrated.
He had become the ultimate villainous scion in a xianxia novel—a character who not only shared his name but also his fate.
In the original story, this fool coveted the sister of the fated protagonist, Xiao Chen, tormenting her in every possible way. In the end, Xiao Chen, enduring humiliation and hardship, turned the tables on him, eventually bringing ruin to Gu Changsheng’s entire clan.
No…
A wave of panic gripped Gu Changsheng’s heart.
He had no intention of playing the villain, much less of becoming a stepping stone for some chosen son of destiny.
In this world, survival—peaceful, comfortable survival—was his only goal.
He must immediately put a stop to any reckless actions! The farther he stayed from Xiao Chen and his fiancée, the better!
He was about to instruct the steward to send that troublesome woman back, accompanied by generous gifts to the Xiao family as an apology.
But Old Fu seemed to read his thoughts and respectfully reported, “Young master, you caught a slight chill yesterday and felt unwell, so this old servant took it upon himself to handle a few minor matters for you.”
“That Xiao family maiden you mentioned has already been ‘invited’ to your chambers for quiet recuperation. To prevent her from suffering any discomfort, the Patriarch has especially severed a section of Celestial Spirit Vein and infused it into her quarters.”
Gu Changsheng’s mouth fell open, frozen.
Celestial Spirit Vein… used to nurse the health of an abducted woman?
Was this something any carbon-based lifeform could even conceive of?
Old Fu went on, his tone as calm as if reporting the price of cabbage at market, “As for that insignificant ant who offended you, Xiao Chen…”
“The Third Grand Elder happened to pass by, found him noisy, and erased him and his entire sect from existence.”
“Oh, and before doing so, the elder casually extracted his soul, lit forty-nine soul lanterns, and hung them in our family’s privy—said it would ward off evil.”
Gu Changsheng’s mind crashed.
Erased… erased?
The fated son of destiny who, in the novel, endured hardship, seized countless opportunities, slew enemies far above his level, and eventually became emperor—
Just like that… wiped out by an elder who just happened to be passing by?
And his very soul turned into a bathroom ornament?
The plot had collapsed so utterly, not even its own mother would recognize it!
He hadn’t done anything! He’d only slept!
[ Ding! ]
[ Host has perfectly evaded the “protagonist’s halo” causal catastrophe. Xiao Chen, son of destiny, has been utterly obliterated. Original plotline collapse: 100%! ]
[ Congratulations, host, on achieving the “Nuclear Opening” feat! ]
[ Reward issued: “Foundation of the Dao—Seed of the Primal Chaos Green Lotus.” ]
A lotus seed, suffused with the hues of chaos and radiating profound Daoist aura, materialized in Gu Changsheng’s palm.
Warm and fragrant.
Gu Changsheng glanced at the seed, then at the guards outside—each exuding an aura capable of crushing eternity—and then recalled the former protagonist, now a soul lantern in the privy.
He understood.
Villains, sons of destiny, plotlines…
Before absolute, unreasonable might, all of them were nothing but dust.
There was no need for struggle, no need for scheming.
All he had to do… was lie flat.
Cling to the strongest thigh in the universe, and live out his days as a peaceful, contented good-for-nothing.
That was the optimal solution for any transmigrator!
“Old Fu,” Gu Changsheng spoke hoarsely, his voice still raspy in this new body.
“What is your command, young master?”
Gu Changsheng weighed the Primal Chaos Lotus Seed in his hand. Under Old Fu’s horrified gaze, he flicked it precisely into his mouth.
An indescribably pure energy exploded on his tongue.
“A bit bitter. Next time, get me a sweeter one.”
He commented with a blank expression.
Old Fu was speechless.
That… that was a Seed of the Primal Chaos Green Lotus!
Legend held that the three thousand Great Daos were all born from it. Even a single seed was a supreme divine treasure, enough to make mortals saints and forge the ultimate Dao foundation!
And the young master just popped it like a snack?
And complained it was… bitter?
Old Fu gazed at the handsome yet languid youth upon the throne, his heart in turmoil.
He suddenly understood.
The young master was no wastrel as they’d imagined!
He seemed arrogant, but was in fact tempering his Dao heart through these very means!
Every seemingly casual act resonated with the profoundest mysteries of the Dao!
To treat divine objects as trifles was to cast off dependence on the external, striving for the supreme state: “my body is the universe, my will is the will of heaven!”
Terrifying beyond words!
The young master had already embarked upon an invincible path none could fathom!
Gu Changsheng yawned, stretching lazily as he rose from the throne.
“All right, if there’s nothing else, don’t bother me. I’m going back to catch up on sleep.”
“Oh, and the lanterns in the privy are a bit glaring—have the Third Elder change the color.”
With that, he ambled off toward his chambers under the awestruck gazes of countless servants.
Old Fu alone remained in the grand hall, bowing deeply before the empty throne.
“Young master… what genius!”
Gu Changsheng wanted nothing more than to be an idle, unambitious man of leisure.
But clearly, his family would not permit him to “degenerate” so easily.
“Young master, here are bed sheets woven from ‘Celestial Mica’ just tributed by the Dragon Lord of the Eastern Sea. They calm the mind and soothe the spirit.”
“Young master, this is ‘Bodhi Enlightenment Tea,’ personally brewed by the Buddha of the Western Heavens. Please, have a taste.”
“Young master, here is a personal dancer gifted by the Demon Emperor of the Northern Wilds—her lineage is pure, and she can play both coy and demure…”
Lying on a bed fashioned from the heart of the World Tree, Gu Changsheng waved his hand impassively.
“The sheets are too slippery, the tea too bitter, the dancer too noisy.”
“Take them all away.”
“I just want to sleep in peace. Understand?”
The maids outside the door, pale with fear, rushed to remove those divine treasures—each enough to spark war in the outside world.
But word spread fast.
“Did you hear? The Gu family’s young master even disdained Celestial Mica bedding! Does he sleep directly atop the source of the Great Dao?”
“That’s not all! He found the Western Buddha’s Enlightenment Tea too bitter! What state of mind must he possess? He must have long since seen through all mortal illusions, unmoved by any law of the world!”
“Most frightening of all, he rejected the Demon Emperor’s dancer! To him, even beauty is but dust and bone! Such steadfastness of Dao heart—unseen through the ages!”
Countless Holy Land lords and Immortal Emperors lost sleep upon hearing these rumors.
The Gu family—an ancient, forbidden lineage whose very name dared not be spoken—had produced a successor so deep and unfathomable!
His every move seemed to proclaim something to the entire world.
Gu Changsheng, however, knew nothing of this.
He was simply frustrated at being disturbed during his sleep.
For the sake of a moment’s peace, he decided to step outside for a stroll.