Chapter Sixty-Seven: Never in My Wildest Dreams Did I Imagine You Were Such a Master!
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Leisurely riding the tricycle, journeying all the way from Jianhong Community to the landfill, Li Shixin found the experience rather novel. The driving skills required were much like riding a motorcycle—easy to pick up. Compared to his usual means of transport, the slow, stop-and-go city bus, this ride was infinitely more enjoyable, except for the strong wind.
When he finished his stint living at the landfill, Li Shixin had thought that, if the opportunity arose, he would help Big Guy, Syringe, and the others. He himself wasn’t scavenging for survival, but for the experience, and so could live with the carefree ease of a wandering sage. But for those who truly depended on scavenging, they were the real ants at the bottom of society. The poor living conditions aside, autumn had already set in, and by the time Li Shixin left, some people were starting to catch colds and fall ill. The food was unsanitary, stomach troubles and gastrointestinal diseases were practically routine. Many vagrants hunched over not for any other reason, but simply because their stomachs hurt.
The greatest danger, however, came from the fact that not everyone in society is kind. In his ten days at the landfill, Li Shixin had witnessed three incidents where street troublemakers bullied and mocked the vagrants for amusement. Often, the abuse—even beatings—occurred for no reason at all, maybe just because the aggressors were in a bad mood, or drunk and looking to vent.
So, as he sifted through old things at the landfill, Li Shixin decided to use this filming opportunity to help them find a way out, to escape this environment. At the very least, having a roof that doesn’t leak and a hot meal every day was better than barely surviving in a place unfit for humans.
With this thought, Li Shixin rode the tricycle through the landfill gates. Just as he was wondering what expressions those unruly boys would have upon seeing him again, he heard a loud shout. Suddenly, a crowd surged toward him from inside the landfill!
The scene was as frenzied as a supermarket selling pork at six yuan a pound.
They swarmed the tricycle, gripping it tightly as if afraid it would sprout wings and escape. Suppressing his emotions, Li Shixin glanced at the overly excited crowd in front of him. They must be fans, he thought. Yet he was curious—he had specifically told Li Erchun to keep the location secret, maintain the mystery.
“How did you find this place?”
Without dismounting, Li Shixin raised his hands and quieted the clamoring crowd.
From the group, a bald young man wearing large round glasses squeezed his way forward.
“Master! My name is Zhang Quandan. It was me who analyzed the clues in your videos and pinpointed the location so everyone could find you!”
Looking at the overly excited young man with a flushed bald spot, Li Shixin chuckled.
You really are a talent!
Amid the boisterous fans, Zhang Quandan, still thrilled, grabbed Li Shixin’s arm and opened his phone. “Master, you don’t know how deeply your attitude toward life has influenced so many people on Bilibili. Everyone is so curious about you. Could you tell us how you can live so happily even while scavenging? You never seem to have any troubles.”
Immediately, others chimed in:
“Yes, Master! After watching your videos online, I truly had an epiphany. Compared to your openness, we’re barely living! I’m going to follow you and scavenge from now on!”
“Me too. I even quit my job to come here. I was a garbage 3D modeling designer, earning only twenty or thirty thousand a month, staying up late every night until ten, and never feeling happy. I’ve decided—I’ll follow you and be a carefree vagrant!”
Seeing the burning fanaticism in their eyes, Li Shixin fell silent. When he said nothing, the enthusiastic crowd gradually quieted. Only the autumn wind whistled around them, until Li Shixin glanced at all the phones pointed at him.
“Nonsense!”
Meanwhile,
Within the Wandering Master community formed by Bilibili fans, the excitement was reaching its peak. After keeping everyone guessing for more than ten days, the Wandering Master had finally been “successfully captured” by Zhang Quandan and his group. Even though it was morning and most people were at work, the live stream viewers still numbered over seven thousand.
Thus, seven thousand people heard the master’s ultimate answer.
“The reason I can stay happy while scavenging is because…” The Wandering Master on screen looked a bit helpless. He paused slightly, then smiled and continued, “Even if I didn’t scavenge, my retirement pension is still thirty-four hundred a month!”
(꒪⌓꒪)(꒪⌓꒪)(꒪⌓꒪)(꒪⌓꒪)
“……”
“……”
“……”
Silence.
It was as if some alien had dropped a freezing ray on Earth, turning everyone into blocks of ice.
Whether at the landfill gate or on Zhang Quandan’s live stream, the atmosphere was eerily quiet.
“Damn! What’s the point of this game now?” “Why can’t I control myself? Damn, my salary’s going up next month! Why am I quitting to wander?” “Heartless! Damn, retirement pension is too heartless!” “Damn, brothers, my heart hurts a bit, let me recover.”
On Zhang Quandan’s phone screen, a barrage of comments exploded!
At the landfill gate, several fans who had quit their jobs to come pay homage were moved to tears by Li Shixin’s soul-piercing answer.
“Master, you fed us chicken soup for ten days, and now you hit us with arsenic. I can’t take it.”
“Boohoo, master, couldn’t you have warned us about your thirty-four hundred pension in your videos? What do I do now?”
“My heart hurts so much I can’t breathe!”
“I don’t think it’s fair to call us stupid, right? Who would have thought… the old man scavenging is actually a big shot with a retirement pension over three thousand? Ha… haha… ha wa wu wu… I pooped in my manager’s lunchbox and then ran off! At this hour, he should be having lunch. What do I do now?”
Seeing the utterly devastated fans, Li Shixin chuckled.
“Your choices reflect your true selves. Since you don’t like your previous lives, why not treat this as a new beginning?”
“Master, at this point, not even Yunnan Baiyao can heal my soul. Please, no more chicken soup!”
“Yes, old man, please tell us if you have any more tricks besides your thirty-four hundred pension. Sting us hard, so we never forget this lesson and go back to work!”
“Actually, I’m an actor. The reason I came to the landfill was entirely to experience a role.”
Facing the young men kneeling and crying, Li Shixin stroked his beard.
Silence.
Another deadly silence.
“I knew it, I knew it—how could anyone scavenge every day and live like a sage?”
“Damn! Old man, if you’re just experiencing life, can’t you do it quietly? Why make videos?”
“Old man, you’re a great actor. We were all fooled!”
Ding!
Received strong [complaint] points—37,371!
Looking at the utterly miserable young men, Li Shixin appeared innocent.
“Those videos weren’t even filmed by me.”
With his hands spread wide, Li Erchun’s sphincter clenched tight, sensing trouble.