Volume One: The Soul-Gathering Gourd and the Spirit-Igniting Lamp Chapter Four: The King of Hell Is a Girl!
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At dawn, the fragrance of fresh air swept into the incense shop, accompanied by the chirping of birds and the buzzing of insects.
Cough, cough!
Gu Mo, half-asleep, was jolted awake by a violent fit of coughing, his throat throbbing with sharp pain.
Ha—ptui!
With a sudden forceful cough, Gu Mo spat out a blood-streaked toothpick, which landed squarely on the counter.
Now fully awake, Gu Mo instinctively reached for his neck. After confirming there was nothing amiss, he picked up the bloodied toothpick from the counter and fell into deep thought…
After a long silence, Gu Mo let out a bitter laugh.
“Heh, what a damn realistic nightmare!”
No sooner had the words left his lips than a chilly gust blew through, slamming the incense shop’s wooden door shut with a heavy thud. In an instant, the entire shop was plunged into a suffocating darkness.
Behind the counter, Gu Mo began to tremble uncontrollably, beads of sweat as large as beans rolling down his face.
Rustle, rustle, rustle—
At that moment, a paper figurine in the corner began to move in a most uncanny manner.
Witnessing this scene, Gu Mo hurriedly pinched the outside of his thigh.
The pain was sharp!
Grimacing, he finally confirmed—he was not dreaming!
Suddenly, Gu Mo seized the ashtray at hand, curling his lips in defiance as he cursed loudly.
“Wh—who are you, fiend?!”
The paper figurine floating before him made no sound, but an eerie, sinister laughter echoed in Gu Mo’s ears.
“Hehehe~”
His mind went blank, scalp prickling, a chill running down his spine like an electric current shooting from his tailbone to the crown of his head!
His heart racing, Gu Mo hurled the ashtray with all his might.
The glass ashtray traced a graceful arc through the air, scattering ash in every direction and filling the incense shop with a haze.
Thud—crash!
With a crisp sound, the paper figurine’s face was punctured by a hole, and the ashtray shattered into pieces on the floor. Yet the paper figurine did not fall back!
Weirdness, terror, anxiety—emotions swept through every nerve in Gu Mo’s body.
As the ash settled and he caught his breath,
the paper figurine suddenly lunged forward, its paper hands reaching for Gu Mo’s throat.
“Oooo~ I’m a ghost—give me your life!”
At those words, Gu Mo’s soul nearly fled his body in fright. In a panic, he fumbled for the lighter in his pocket, desperate to set the paper figurine ablaze.
Click—
With a sharp snap, the lighter flickered to life, hope flaring with its tiny flame.
Whoosh—
A gust of cold wind from the ruined face of the paper figurine instantly snuffed out the flame.
Still reeling, Gu Mo tried again.
Click—
Whoosh—
Click—
Whoosh—
…
After several failed attempts, Gu Mo threw the lighter aside, lips pressed tight. Tears welled in his eyes, threatening to overflow, while a stream of orange-yellow liquid trickled down his pant leg.
At that moment, the paper figurine collapsed to the ground with a crash. A thick cloud of smoke drifted from its body, and a bone-chilling cold swept in.
As the smoke dispersed, a ghostly bride in phoenix coronet and scarlet robes fixed Gu Mo with an impish gaze.
Up close, the ghost bride was breathtakingly beautiful! The bright red wedding attire was dazzling, and her exposed skin looked as smooth and translucent as jade—any man would be stunned into silence!
Then, the ghost bride covered her nose and mouth with a delicate hand and smiled sweetly.
“For a grown man, you’re really scared of ghosts!”
With that, she pulled down her lower eyelid and made a face at him, her little hand icy and pale.
“Tch, what a disgrace! A grown man, and you wet your pants!”
Faced with the harmless-looking ghost bride, a sudden realization struck Gu Mo like a bolt of lightning.
So last night wasn’t just a nightmare—all of this was real!
“Who…who wet their pants! That’s sweat, obviously!”
Overwhelmed by shame, Gu Mo could only bluster, stubborn as a dead duck.
The next second, the ghost bride tilted her head, widened her eyes, and formed her red lips into an O, mocking Gu Mo without reservation.
“Wow! You’re amazing—so much sweat, and such a bright yellow color!”
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At her words, Gu Mo’s face turned crimson; he wished he could burrow into the ground and never come out again!
Unable to retort, Gu Mo could only grit his teeth in silence in the face of such humiliation.
Seeing Gu Mo’s woeful expression, the ghost bride doubled over in laughter.
“Hahaha!”
Her laughter rang out like silver bells.
After a while, Gu Mo, brows still furrowed, finally asked,
“Sister, why are you haunting me? Wouldn’t it be better to be King Yama’s bride instead?!”
This time, it was the ghost bride’s turn to be bewildered.
“King Yama’s bride? I am King Yama!”
Gu Mo leaned back in disbelief at her words.
“Come off it! How could King Yama be a female ghost?”
The ghost bride put on a solemn face.
“Have you ever seen King Yama?”
“No!”
“There you go! Never seen him, yet you talk nonsense!”
Flushed with embarrassment, Gu Mo had no rebuttal, though the words hovered at the tip of his tongue.
The ghost bride pressed on relentlessly.
“Besides, I was brought here by you. How is that haunting you?”
“I…”
Gu Mo gaped, then clenched his teeth.
“This is my family’s incense shop. If you’re not haunting me, then go!”
The mischievous ghost bride, incensed, put her hands on her waist and stomped her foot.
“Hmph! Fine, I’ll go! Who’d want to stay here anyway!”
With that, she spun around dramatically.
But a few seconds later, she stood rooted to the spot, making no move to leave.
Seeing this, Gu Mo launched into a round of sarcasm.
“What’s wrong? The sun’s up out there—are you afraid?”
The ghost bride spun around, giving Gu Mo a fierce glare.
“Hmph~ Who’s afraid? I’m just hungry! I’ll leave when I’ve eaten my fill!”
With that, she waved her slender hand.
The lighter on the counter burst into flame on its own, and a bundle of incense floated over from the shelves.
Hiss—
Wisps of blue smoke curled up; the ghost bride bent down and inhaled the smoke through her nose.
Gu Mo’s worldview shattered completely.
‘What is this?! This so-called King Yama ghost bride is inhaling incense smoke? Is this how she usually eats? Why on earth did I bring back such a ghostly thing?’
At this thought, Gu Mo’s entire body tensed in fear.
Crack!
Thunder boomed in Gu Mo’s mind, and Old Ghost Xia’s warnings echoed in his ears.
‘Damn! Whether she’s King Yama or the ghost bride, if the underworld’s ghost soldiers come looking for her, I’ll be done for! I’d better pack up and run!’
Resolved, Gu Mo stroked his chin in thought.
‘As for this ghostly thing, let her fend for herself! I’m in no shape to help anyone now. Even if the incense shop burns down, it’s better than losing my life!’
Lost in thought, Gu Mo grabbed his phone and dashed for the shop door.
The ghost bride, still savoring the smoke, snatched up a stick of incense and slipped quietly onto Gu Mo’s body.
Staggering as the ghost bride collided with him, Gu Mo sensed nothing amiss.
Locking the door behind him, he hailed a taxi and sped away…
The scene shifted.
After paying the driver, Gu Mo opened the car door and started up the mountain path.
Seeing the rows of gravestones in the distance, the taxi driver spat out the window.
“Pah, pah, pah! Running to the cemetery first thing in the morning—what bad luck!”
With a screech, the taxi turned and sped away.
The path was lined with trees and fragrant blossoms.
After searching for a while, Gu Mo found a new grave, where he fell heavily to his knees.
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Overcome with emotion, round tears fell to the ground and split into petals.
After a long while, still kneeling, Gu Mo took out a pack of cigarettes, lit two—one stood before the grave, the other he placed between his lips.
“Grandpa, why were you so heartless, sending me away from home as a child? You didn’t even…you didn’t even tell me about your funeral? The moment you left, I was dragged to the underworld by the Black and White Impermanence.”
As he spoke, Gu Mo choked with sobs.
“You were the most renowned spiritual master for miles around—couldn’t you have taught me a little something before you left?”
As smoke curled around him, endless grievance welled up in his heart.
Suddenly—smack!
Gu Mo felt a heavy blow to the back of his head.
Startled, he turned to look—but saw nothing but gravestones all around.
“Seeing ghosts in broad daylight?”
No sooner had he spoken than goosebumps broke out all over his skin.
Then, a deep voice resounded in his mind.
“Grandson, what are you doing here looking for your grandpa?”
Gu Mo’s body tensed in fright.
“Ancestral spirit?!”
The next moment, Gu Mo clung tightly to his grandfather’s tombstone, his voice trembling.
“Grandpa, is that really you?”
“Of course it’s me, good grandson!”
Gu Mo frowned immediately—the voice didn’t sound right, and his grandfather had never called him that.
Scanning his surroundings, he asked in surprise, “You’re not my grandpa. Who are you?”
“Hahaha~”
The silvery laughter rang out, and Gu Mo’s face fell. This ghost bride was really asking for a beating!
“You want a beating? Call yourself my grandpa again, and I’ll send you to oblivion!”
The ghost bride, still possessing Gu Mo’s body, scoffed.
“Please. I’m King Yama! How could you possibly beat me?”
Gu Mo shot back immediately.
“Yeah right! If you’re King Yama, I’m the Jade Emperor! You couldn’t even handle those three scoundrels—yet you brag about being King Yama? You think I’m a three-year-old child?”
“Tch—”
The ghost bride sneered at Gu Mo.
“I am King Yama! Believe it or not!”
The so-called King Yama paused briefly, then continued,
“I haven’t officially taken office yet, so my powers aren’t fully fused with my spirit. Otherwise, dealing with those scoundrels would be easy!”
At this, Gu Mo was completely confused.
“What? Your powers aren’t in your spirit? You’re really the new King Yama? Then what about the previous King Yama?”
The King Yama possessing Gu Mo smiled faintly, her next words thunderous in his ears.
“The previous King Yama was my father!”
Crack!
Thunder erupted in Gu Mo’s mind, a storm of questions whirling inside him.
“So you’re saying last night was your wedding night? But what about that groom’s attire?”
At this, the ghost bride burst into tears, leaving Gu Mo completely bewildered.
“Don’t cry! If someone comes to pay respects and you scare them to death—!”
After a bout of sobbing, the ghost bride spoke through her tears.
“Don’t worry, I only let you hear me—no one else can!”
After a while, King Yama continued,
“My name is Jiang Jingxue. My father was the previous King Yama—Qin Guangwang!”
At that, Gu Mo snorted with laughter.
“Your story is full of holes! Shouldn’t you have your father’s surname, Qin?”
Suddenly, a cold wind swept over, and Gu Mo’s hand flew to his neck, squeezing tight.
Ugh—
Struggling in pain, he felt every breath of oxygen forced from his throat…