Volume One: The Soul-Gathering Gourd and the Soul-Illuminating Lamp Chapter 57: Exhuming the Corpse for Reburial

“Damn, gold bars!”

With that exclamation, Xiao Yulou was struck by sudden realization.

“That’s right, how could we forget our agreement!”

Beside him, Yanwang Jiang Jingxue waved her hand, and several gleaming gold bars appeared before them.

Seeing this, Gu Mo’s heart gave a violent jolt.

“Brother Xiao, do you think I should keep my promise?”

Xiao Yulou sighed heavily at those words.

“Brother Gu, avoiding it is never the solution. Besides, aren’t you afraid of retribution from the immortals?”

Gu Mo considered this and handed Xiao Yulou a cigarette.

The two sat at the edge of the bed, each lighting up…

After a bout of smoke and silence, Gu Mo crushed his cigarette and spoke through gritted teeth, viciously.

“Damn it, so what if I have to dig up a corpse? I refuse to believe digging up a corpse will get me struck by lightning!”

(Haha! One should never be too certain. Before long, Gu Mo will indeed get struck by lightning!)

At this, Xiao Yulou’s eyes flickered, his mind already swirling with schemes.

This sly Taoist coughed lightly and spoke with sly humor.

“Brother Gu, I have urgent matters to attend to. The task of exhuming the corpse… rests on your shoulders alone!”

The next moment, Gu Mo mocked him fiercely.

“Oh~! Master Xiao, off on business again? Last time, when I stood in for the immortals, you pulled this same trick. Can't you come up with something new?”

Xiao Yulou was instantly flustered. When such tricks are seen through, it’s hard to save face!

“N-no! I… I…”

He stammered, then caught sight of Gu Mo’s walking corpse companion. Quick-witted and scheming—these titles weren’t Xiao Yulou’s to claim!

Suddenly, Xiao Yulou placed his fist to his mouth and coughed.

“Ahem! I’m heading out to gather materials. When I return tonight, Brother Gu, you’ll be amazed, astonished, stunned, and shouting ‘Damn!’”

Gu Mo’s exasperation was so intense it could knit a sweater.

“Brother Xiao, do you even realize what you just said?”

Xiao Yulou, with his ethereal aura, laughed carelessly and waved.

“Never mind, just wait and see! I’ll give you an explanation soon enough!”

At that, Gu Mo could only sigh in resignation.

“Brother Xiao, where exactly is the immortal’s corpse? And what am I supposed to do?”

Xiao Yulou flicked his robe’s sleeve and intoned calmly.

“Blessed Immortal! The golden body of the immortal Hui Guangji is buried under a pine tree in Liberation Park. At midnight, all you need to do is dig up the immortal’s golden body and re-bury it under the big tree by the Bibo Pool.”

He then pulled out a palm-sized compass and taught Gu Mo how to use it.

Suddenly, Gu Mo felt a chill down his spine.

“Brother Xiao, this isn’t child’s play. Just tell me—is it dangerous?”

Xiao Yulou calculated briefly.

After the time it took to smoke a cigarette, he laughed.

“Brother Gu, I almost envy you. What a stroke of luck! Not only is there no danger, you’ll gain a great deal!”

Gu Mo finally felt the weight lift from his chest.

“No danger? Well, only a fool wouldn’t take free gold bars! I’m so broke right now I can hear my pockets echo. If I don’t get some income soon, I won’t even be able to eat!”

At the mention of food, the greedy ghost and Yanwang’s wife looked at him with eager anticipation. For food lovers, nothing matters more than a meal!

Gu Mo felt the pressure mount as he looked at these two gluttons.

He once lived alone and carefree, but now he had many to care for: Yanwang’s wife, a sly Taoist, a walking corpse brother, and now a ravenous greedy ghost. The pressure was overwhelming!

---

Thinking of all this, Gu Mo could only grit his teeth and persevere. Avoidance was no solution!

After some conversation, the ethereal Xiao Yulou left, taking the walking corpse with him.

Gu Mo sat at the bed’s edge, gazing at the stunning Yanwang’s wife beside him, feeling that something was missing.

Yanwang Jiang Jingxue stroked the greedy ghost’s fluffy body, her eyes shining like the Milky Way as she looked at Gu Mo.

“Husband, why are you so troubled?”

Gu Mo forced a bitter smile.

“Beset by troubles inside and out—what can I do?”

“Oh? Why do you say that?”

Gu Mo inhaled deeply, letting the smoke stir in his lungs, then sighed.

“My dear, I always feel trapped in a mystery, clouds I can’t clear away. As if a shocking secret is about to be revealed, but I’m not fully prepared for it.”

Jiang Jingxue looked at him blankly.

“Husband, what is a mystery?”

...

Time slipped by. Gu Mo, shouldering a shovel and carrying a black bundle, set off for Liberation Park under the stars.

The night wind was chilling. Gu Mo frowned, feeling Xiao Yulou’s words hid other meanings. The precious gold bars were like a hot potato!

His footsteps quickened. With his compass in hand, he found a towering pine tree.

“This must be the spot!”

He glanced furtively around, nervous as a thief. When he was sure no one was nearby, Gu Mo spat into his hands and began digging.

Crunch, crunch.

Under the moonlight, Gu Mo dug with all his might…

After some time, he heard a dull thud. His instincts told him the shovel had struck a coffin!

Overjoyed, Gu Mo bent down and brushed away the earth, revealing a deep red coffin.

Seeing things proceed so smoothly, Gu Mo couldn’t help but laugh foolishly.

“Hehehe!”

But his laughter soon froze.

“Damn. Such a huge coffin—how could no one see me? And how am I supposed to carry it?”

He then had a peculiar thought.

“Carrying the corpse is easier than carrying the coffin!”

Resolving himself, Gu Mo dug deeper…

After a long while, the mound of earth grew. Gu Mo wedged his shovel into the coffin’s seam.

A creak.

He was surprised the coffin hadn’t been nailed shut!

A blast of cold wind hit him, making him tremble.

Gu Mo tossed his shovel aside, lit three cigarettes, and placed them before the coffin. He recited loudly.

“Immortal Hui, I come entrusted by Immortal Huang to move you to a place of beauty. If I disturb your peace, forgive me, forgive me!”

(Immortal Hui, dust to dust… Playful Blue Moon, brothers come and hack me!)

Afterwards, Gu Mo pushed open the coffin lid.

Thud!

A strange fragrance wafted out, and Gu Mo’s knees buckled, making him sit in the soft earth.

The scene zooms in.

Inside the deep red coffin lay a white-haired elder, three inches of beard! Dressed in black burial clothes, he looked freshly interred. His face, surrounded by deathly gray, was skin and bone.

“Damn! Is this elder really an immortal?”

---

Before he finished speaking, smoke billowed from beneath the immortal’s golden body.

Gu Mo jumped back in alarm, covering his nose and mouth.

As the smoke cleared, the shriveled corpse had vanished, replaced by a gray rat the size of a leopard!

This gray rat, dressed in burial clothes, had sleek, shining fur. Its head was as big as a car wheel, eyes black as jewels, whiskers like steel needles, and mango-sized teeth. Even its tail looked as tough as a steel whip!

Beneath the rat lay silks, fine cloth, and a heap of gold nuggets as coffin padding!

The dazzling wealth made Gu Mo’s heart pound.

With a furrowed brow, he lit a cigarette.

Whoosh~

After a puff, Gu Mo looked at the freakish immortal’s golden body and forced a bitter smile.

“What is all this?”

“First day, Black and White Impermanence; second day, Yanwang’s forced marriage; third day, bitten by walking corpse; later, ghosts and immortals. If this plot were in a novel or film, no one would believe it!”

“I must’ve been cursed for eight lifetimes!”

After his grumbling, Gu Mo thought of the greedy ghost, Furball.

He quickly searched his pockets for a cigarette.

When he reached into his pants pocket, he realized something was wrong.

Crunch!

Ah~

Gu Mo cried out and pulled out his left hand, only to see Furball biting his fingertip with razor-sharp teeth. The pain was intense, so he shook his finger and scolded.

“Furball, if you bite me, who’ll buy you food?”

At once, Furball released his grip and looked at Gu Mo apologetically, as if sorry for his rudeness.

As Gu Mo rubbed his finger, he noticed Furball was now only the size of an apple. He frowned and asked,

“Furball, can you change your size freely?”

“Gulu gulu gulu!”

Hearing this, Gu Mo felt his head swell. This little black creature only cared about eating and making strange noises.

With language barriers, communication was impossible!

Gu Mo then thought of a solution.

“When dawn comes, I’ll buy a set of children’s vocabulary cards. Then we can communicate! Of course, as your master, I’ll buy you food.”

To his surprise, Furball stuck out his tongue and formed the Arabic numeral ‘3’.

Gu Mo was exasperated.

“Furball, were you a bandit in your past life? Besides extorting me, what else can you do?”

Furball gurgled twice, then used his saliva-coated tongue to sweep swiftly.

Whoosh!

The coffin vanished from the pit!

Gu Mo gasped, rubbing his eyes.

It seemed the deep red coffin had been swallowed by the ghost!

“Wow, Furball, you’re amazing! Showing off your powers!”

He then stuffed the nearby shovel into Furball’s mouth.

Ready to go, Gu Mo cradled the black greedy ghost and headed toward Bibo Pool.

The perspective shifts.

Unbeknownst to him, Xiao Yulou stood before a pitch-black cave, gazing solemnly in the direction of Beihuang Town, sighing deeply.

“Brother Gu, hold on! Or the road ahead will be even harder!”

...