Chapter 123: A Flood of Memories, Weeping Uncontrollably

With the completion of the mission, the guests were granted some free time.

On the way back to the guesthouse, Li Jiayan felt wonderful. Her goal for the day had been to win first place and secure the privilege of a secret date tomorrow. Having been trapped in the Claw Valley Maze for so long, she had nearly abandoned all hope of winning, so this final surprise was a delight.

Sitting in the car, her mind wasn't on whom she would choose for the date—that answer had been clear to her long before she even earned the privilege. She glanced at Lu Zhou sitting beside her; he had fallen asleep, perhaps from exhaustion. She was tired too, but her mind was buzzing with excitement, already planning which city would be the best place for their date. Oh, how she wished she had her phone so she could search for the perfect destination and check travel guides. Alas, without it, she could only rely on her own memories to plan.

As the car drove through a scenic little street before reaching the guesthouse, Li Jiayan realized that once they returned, they would no longer be alone. She suddenly didn't want to go back so quickly, so she woke Lu Zhou up.

Lu Zhou opened his eyes, dazed. Having experienced a flurry of disjointed dreams, his head was still foggy, and his temples throbbed. Seeing him wake up looking so bewildered and adorable, Li Jiayan couldn't help but chuckle. "You look so cute when you've just woken up," she said, longing to reach out and ruffle his hair.

Lu Zhou frowned slightly, shaking off the haze. He rubbed his temples and sat up straight. "Are we there yet?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.

Li Jiayan shook her head. "Not yet, but look outside. This street is beautiful. I want to walk around a bit. Will you come with me?"

Lu Zhou looked out the window. It was indeed a charming street. Feeling that a breath of fresh air might help alleviate his throbbing headache, he agreed. They stepped out and walked for a while. The fresh air made Lu Zhou feel better, though his mind remained preoccupied with the confusing fragments of his dreams.

After a while, Li Jiayan’s feet grew tired, and they found a spot to sit and watch the passersby. "I wish we had some money so we could buy ice cream from that shop, or order a coffee and just sit here and enjoy it slowly," she said, resting her chin on her hand as she gazed at a corner store. She turned to him with a smile. "Do you remember the first cup of coffee I ever bought you? It was with my first paycheck from my part-time job at the bar."

Lu Zhou’s gaze drifted to the corner shop, and he smiled faintly. "I remember. It was the first time you’d spent money you earned yourself; you were so excited." As memories from years ago surfaced, his head felt tight again—his mind had been filled with too much today.

"Haha, true. It felt so good to spend my own money for the first time," Li Jiayan laughed.

They fell silent for a moment, watching the crowd. Suddenly, Li Jiayan called his name. Lu Zhou looked at her, curious.

"I suddenly want to hear you sing. Could you sing a song for me right now?" she asked, her dark, bright eyes blinking.

"What would you like to hear?" he asked.

Li Jiayan smiled brilliantly, pondering for a long while. "How about..." She hesitated, the song title on the tip of her tongue.

Lu Zhou waited quietly. Finally, she said, "Sing your own song, 'First Love'."

Lu Zhou looked at her for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."

"That year..."

With his head tilted slightly toward the sky, he began to sing a cappella. Li Jiayan swayed gently to the melody, a soft smile on her lips as scenes from the past grew vivid. The happiness of their youth surged in her heart, unforgettable. But by the end of the song, tears were streaming down her face.

"Reality forced us to grow up,
Too sudden to defend.
The beautiful defiance of youth,
Became the sugar in our memories.
No need for regrets,
Sing bravely.
I will write my blessings
On an unaddressed postcard.
If we meet again years later,
We won't yearn for each other anymore.
Yesterday is like smoke in the wind,
Smile and say goodbye properly..."

The clear, poignant voice echoed through the street. Passersby stopped to listen, curious. Lu Zhou’s eyes remained fixed on the sky, bathed in the glow of the setting sun—the sunset trying its best to bloom in the blue sky, yet tinged with regret.

To be precise, it was a breakup song. The melody carried the sweet-yet-bitter flavor of youth—like carbonated water mixed with bitter coffee; it held both regret and a sense of release. That is life.

***

In the livestream chat:
[Sob, hearing them sing this together is just too painful.]
[It’s over, I have a bad feeling. Is my favorite couple going to have a tragic ending?]
[The a cappella is so beautiful, but it makes me cry so much.]
[This song hits right in the heart for anyone who broke up after graduation. I’m dying.]
[Why must there be regrets? Just get together and make up for the lost time!]
[Jiayan, why did you pick this song? Are you trying to hurt yourself?]
[Smiling and saying goodbye... It’s his own song; he’s saying farewell! Please, no!]
[It brings back memories of my first love. Sigh.]

...

As the song faded, the final note lingered and then vanished. Scattered applause broke out from the passersby. Lu Zhou stared into the distance for a moment before turning his gaze back to Li Jiayan.

Her makeup was ruined by tears. Seeing him look at her, her lip trembled and she broke down again. She wanted to hide in his arms and cry, telling him, "We've grown up, let's love each other properly again," but her reason told her she couldn't.

The emotions he conveyed through the song made her feel as if he had truly let go. That was the part that stung the most. So many years had passed; he had moved on and could face things with ease. She had once moved on too, so why—why was she unable to let go now? The old feelings, unearthed and layered with new attraction, were impossible to resist. But he appeared so nonchalant.

Once her mind cleared, that was what pained her the most. It seemed the past was truly the past; if she wanted to win him back, she would have to create new memories of attraction.

Seeing her sobbing, Lu Zhou thought she must have understood the message behind his song. He smiled at her, lightening the mood. "Is this what they call 'so bad it makes you cry'?"

Li Jiayan couldn't help but laugh through her tears, nearly snorting. She quickly wiped her nose and covered her face, feeling flustered. "Yes! So bad it made me cry! Ugh, why did I pick this song?"

"You picked it yourself, why ask me?" Lu Zhou tried to use a light tone to dispel the lingering melancholy.

"It's all your fault. Couldn't you have written a happy song?" she grumbled, still covering her face. "I'm ruined, I must look hideous right now. Go get me some tissues, or I won't be able to show my face."

Lu Zhou laughed and hopped off the stool, heading into the nearby shop to borrow some tissues. Li Jiayan watched his retreating figure through her fingers, thinking that if she worked hard enough, they could return to what they once were.