Chapter 127: A Date Alone

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Keep driving along Highway 9. Thanks to the region’s distinctive climate, the sky was a deep blue, as though they had entered a dream.

Along the way lay both a vast, magnificent sea and mountains layered in lush green. If they wished to linger, they could stop in one of the small towns known for its local culture, or drive all the way to the luxurious Malibu villa district and experience the surroundings of the wealthy.

It was a scenic route perfectly suited to a leisurely road trip.

Passing a beach where elephant seals gathered, Lu Zhou and Ye Fangfei grew curious. They took their instant camera and got out to have a look.

The elephant seals were packed together in rows along the shoreline, lazily exposing their plump white bellies as they slept and basked in the sun. Every so often, one would reach out a flipper, rake some sand toward itself, and scatter it over its back. Whenever it moved, the fat on its body rippled along with it, making it look adorably stupid.

A long-beaked little bird approached and circled around one of the elephant seals, apparently trying to peck it. The elephant seal sensed the movement and lazily opened its eyes. Seeing that it was only a tiny thing, it paid no attention and went right back to sleep, lying perfectly still like a dead, enormous fish washed ashore by the waves.

Ye Fangfei found the sight amusing. Holding up her instant camera, she moved closer to capture the perfect shot.

“It’s so fat.” She snapped one picture after another, laughing.

“It’s so ugly,” Lu Zhou remarked.

Ye Fangfei burst out laughing. An elephant seal in front of her happened to open its eyes and look at her. She could not resist pointing at Lu Zhou and saying to it, “A true warrior would rather die than suffer humiliation. He says you’re ugly. Are you really going to put up with that?”

Lu Zhou curved his lips into a smile and protested, “You called it fat, too.”

“It is fat.”

“It is ugly.”

At that moment, the elephant seal in front of them suddenly opened its mouth and let out a roar. It stretched out its neck and raised its head.

“Oh!” Ye Fangfei cried, startled.

Lu Zhou immediately seized her by the arm and pulled her several steps backward, his eyes fixed on the black, hulking elephant seal in case it attacked.

In the end, it merely grunted and wriggled its body before lifting a flipper and smacking the brother beside it, who had inexplicably crushed it. The other seal, unwilling to be outdone, raised itself and let out a roar as well. The two fellows shoved at each other, each pushing while the other pushed back, until neither managed to move the other at all.

Lu Zhou and Ye Fangfei: “…”

The ridiculous scene sent them both into fits of laughter.

Only after laughing for a while did Lu Zhou realize that he was still holding Ye Fangfei’s hand. He hurriedly let go.

Ye Fangfei froze for a moment, then smiled and deftly shifted the awkwardness elsewhere. “I thought it had actually understood what we were saying and was about to show us who was boss.”

“How could it be that intelligent? It looks completely idiotic.” Lu Zhou laughed.

“Keep insulting it and it really will attack you.”

“Haha.”

After admiring the elephant seals, the two of them strolled along the beach, their feet sinking unevenly into the sand.

“No, I have to take off my shoes. They’re full of sand.” Lu Zhou had only walked a little farther before he began to feel uncomfortable.

“You should have taken them off ages ago.”

Ye Fangfei was wearing high-heeled sandals, but she had removed them before stepping onto the beach and was carrying them in one hand. Now, as she answered Lu Zhou, she was completely absorbed in using her instant camera to find the most beautiful angle from which to photograph the sea.

Lu Zhou plopped down onto the sand, took off his sneakers, and shook the sand out of them. When he finished, he noticed half of a conch shell sticking out of the sand beside him. Curious, he dug it out.

The shell was about the size of one and a half of his palms. Lu Zhou poured out the sand inside, blew into it, and held it to his ear for a moment. Then he smiled.

Ye Fangfei had already walked ahead.

Carrying his shoes in his left hand, Lu Zhou hurried after her. She was looking down at the photograph she had just taken. Quietly, he stopped behind her and held the conch shell in his right hand beside her ear without quite touching it.

“Don’t move. Listen,” he said.

Ye Fangfei went still, unsure what he was up to, but obediently tilted her head and listened carefully.

“What do you hear?” he asked.

“The sound of waves,” she replied.

“Only the sound of waves?” Lu Zhou teased with a smile.

“Yes. What else?”

As she spoke, Ye Fangfei turned around and saw that Lu Zhou really was holding a fairly large conch shell.

“I hid a song inside it. You didn’t hear it?” Lu Zhou said with a grin.

Ye Fangfei gave him a complicated look, pressing her lips together to suppress a smile. “Are you trying to fool a child?”

Seeing that he could not deceive her, Lu Zhou laughed and lowered the shell.

He tossed it lightly in his palm. “If you cut an opening in the pointed end, you can use it as a musical instrument.”

“Really?” Ye Fangfei looked over curiously. “You know how to play it?”

“I’ll cut it open when we get back to the vehicle and play something for you.”

Ye Fangfei looked skeptical. “You can actually play a melody on it? I’ve only ever heard people use shells as horns.”

“It works as a horn, too.”

“You have a surprisingly random collection of skills.” She sounded intrigued, and seemed rather eager to hear him play the shell.

“I just have a wide range of interests.” Lu Zhou shrugged.

The two continued strolling forward, admiring the scenery, taking photographs, and chatting idly.

Halfway through, Ye Fangfei grew hungry, so they turned back to the motorhome.

They had spent all their money that day applying for the luxury motorhome, without a penny left over. They had no choice but to cook with the ingredients in the vehicle’s refrigerator instead of going out to a restaurant.

Back in the motorhome, Ye Fangfei stared at the food in the refrigerator, utterly at a loss as to where to begin.

“You can cook, right?”

She tilted her head up and blinked her bright, limpid eyes at him, anticipation shimmering in their depths.

“I can, but I can’t guarantee it’ll taste good.”

As Lu Zhou watched her leaning into the refrigerator door and blinking up at him, he felt an inexplicable urge to reach out and ruffle her hair.

“As long as it’s edible.” Ye Fangfei rubbed her growling stomach. “Then I’ll leave the important task of cooking to you, Chef Lu!”

“Move aside.”

Lu Zhou waved her away, and Ye Fangfei quickly made room for him.

He held onto the refrigerator door and peered inside, considering what he could make.

“What do you want to eat?” he asked.

“Chinese food.”

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“Be more specific.”

“Braised pork ribs.”

“I don’t think I know how to make that, but I can give it a try. Anything else?”

“...Beggar’s chicken.”

“You’re making things difficult for me. Pick something simpler.”

“Then... twice-cooked pork.”

“My mother used to make that. You just fry it a second time after cooking it once, right? I can probably manage that. What about vegetables?”

“Hot-and-sour shredded potatoes.”

“Let me see... There are potatoes. That works. Anything else?”

“Why am I the only one choosing? Make one dish you want to eat, too.”

“Scrambled eggs with tomatoes. That one’s easy.”

...

After settling on the menu, the two of them got to work.

“I can help with the preparations,” Ye Fangfei offered.

“Then peel the potatoes.”

Lu Zhou casually assigned her a task and began preparing the meat himself.

Ye Fangfei answered with an “Oh,” then busied herself with a potato in the cramped kitchen. She picked up a knife and began peeling.

A short while later, there was suddenly a loud thump. Lu Zhou, who was cutting the meat, looked over and found that the potato had rolled onto the floor.

“My hand slipped.” She gave him an awkward smile, bent down to retrieve it, and rinsed it clean.

Then Lu Zhou noticed that hardly any of the potato remained. Was she peeling it or chopping it to pieces?

Unable to hold back a laugh, Lu Zhou set down his knife and took the potato from her hands. Its surface was now carved into sharp, angular ridges.

“Forget it. You’d better stop helping. Go sit down and wait to eat.”

“Ah? Wouldn’t that be a little bad?”

Ye Fangfei truly was not skilled at kitchen work. After all, in all her years, she had practically never cooked anything herself. There had always been a private chef at home, while at work an assistant arranged all her meals. Even so, simply sitting around waiting to eat without doing anything felt a little improper.

“You’re making things worse like this.” Lu Zhou held up the potato to demonstrate. “You’ve nearly peeled away all the potato. I’m afraid there won’t be enough left to slice into shreds.”

Ye Fangfei gave an embarrassed little grimace before bursting into laughter. “Then I’d better stop getting in the way. I’ll wash the dishes later.”

And so, Ye Fangfei obediently withdrew from the kitchen.

Left alone in the limited kitchen space, Lu Zhou began cooking. Without a recipe to follow, he could only rely on vague memories of how the dishes were supposed to be made.

Ye Fangfei soon grew bored sitting alone in the living area. She fiddled with a few musical instruments, but being hungry, she had little interest in playing. After staring blankly into space for a while, her attention settled on the conch shell Lu Zhou had brought back.

“I want to use the scissors. Are there any here?” Ye Fangfei leaned against the doorframe and poked her head into the kitchen, smiling sweetly.

Lu Zhou glanced at her, then handed her the multifunctional scissors from the knife rack. “Be careful not to hurt yourself. They look very sharp.”

Ye Fangfei accepted them and smiled, nodding at him.

Back in the living area, she picked up the conch shell and examined it for a few moments. Then she opened the scissors and made several experimental snips near its pointed end. Once she had found what she thought was the right spot, she gripped the scissors in her right hand and squeezed hard.

The pointed part did not break. She hissed softly. She had not used enough force, and the scissors had pinched the web between her thumb and index finger. It hurt a little.

“I don’t believe this.”

She placed the shell on the table, blew on the sore spot of her right hand, and stood up. Bending her knees, she settled into a horse stance. Then she gripped the handles of the scissors with both hands, clenched her teeth, and squeezed with all her might.

Snap!

The pointed end of the conch shell shattered.

A smug curve appeared at the corners of Ye Fangfei’s lips. She set down the scissors and picked up the shell to inspect the broken opening.

It was a good width, exactly what she had wanted. The only flaw was that the cut was uneven.

She swept the fragments into the trash, then carried the shell into the bathroom and scrubbed it clean.

When she had finished, she pressed the shell to her lips, drew in a deep breath, and blew.

“Pff-whoo... pff-whoo...”

It sounded even worse than she had imagined, like an especially loud fart. Ye Fangfei began to laugh under her breath.

Finding it inexplicably amusing, she blew into it again and could not stop laughing.

The viewers in the livestream were beside themselves—

[The goofy Ye Fangfei has logged on.]

[It’s been ages since we’ve seen mischievous little Ye Fangfei. Looks like she’s fully activated today.]

[Hahaha, sweetheart, what are you doing?]

[She’s completely relaxed now.]

[She’s like a totally different person compared with when she’s with Zhang Chen.]

...

Hearing the strange noise, Lu Zhou leaned out of the kitchen and glanced over. He saw Ye Fangfei fiddling with the conch shell.

“So that’s what you needed the scissors for?” Only then did he realize what she had done with them.

“Of course.” Ye Fangfei held up the cut opening for him to see. “Look.”

“Do you even know how to play it?” Lu Zhou asked with a laugh.

“You heard me just now, so why ask?” Ye Fangfei gazed at the shell in frustration. “Can this thing really produce a pleasant sound?”

“Give it here.”

After saying that, Lu Zhou turned back to check the stove.

Ye Fangfei sprang up from the sofa and carried the shell into the kitchen.

Lu Zhou lowered the heat and covered the so-called braised pork ribs to let them simmer. After wiping the water from his hands, he finally accepted the shell from Ye Fangfei.

“There’s a technique to this. With a shell of this size, you can place your fingers inside the wide opening and adjust the sound by moving them through the stream of air.”

As he spoke, Lu Zhou prepared to demonstrate.

“Wait...” Ye Fangfei began, intending to stop him, but his lips had already met the shell. She hesitated, then decided there was no point saying anything and swallowed the words that had risen to her lips.

She had actually just blown into it herself... He ought to wipe it down or wash it before playing it...

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Livestream comments—

[What the hell? I just sat straight up.]

[That counts as an indirect kiss, right?!]

[Why am I smiling like someone’s proud aunt?]

...

By then, Lu Zhou had already begun to play the conch shell.

Four fingers of his right hand slipped into its wide opening. As he blew, they moved slowly and rhythmically.

A low, wavering sound emerged from the shell.

The quality of his playing was completely different from Ye Fangfei’s. His shell music was not as abrupt or crude. Instead, it was delicate, carrying long, lingering turns of pitch with a smooth, flowing quality.

The notes rose and fell. Through the skill of his lips and the way his fingers modulated the airflow, he produced tremulous notes in different rhythms.

It was strangely beautiful, though the melody sounded somewhat like a sorrowful lament.

Ye Fangfei’s eyes lit up. He really could make it sound like a proper instrument!

Livestream—

[Is there anything you can’t turn into an instrument?]

[Lu “Master of Everything” Zhou.]

[I have to admit, he really does know a bizarre number of skills.]

[Maybe he flopped before because he was too scattered, hahaha.]

...

Lu Zhou played only a short passage before stopping. He lowered the shell and smiled at her.

“I’m hungry. I’m out of breath and can’t keep going.”

Ye Fangfei beamed. “I’m really hungry, too.”

Lu Zhou returned the shell to her and turned to lift the lid from the pot. “I’ll hurry as much as I can.”

Half an hour later, Lu Zhou’s braised pork ribs, twice-cooked pork, hot-and-sour shredded potatoes, and scrambled eggs with tomatoes were freshly served.

Ye Fangfei eyed the four dishes on the table, her stomach rumbling loudly.

“You’re amazing. Everything looks delicious.” She offered generous praise.

Lu Zhou arranged the utensils, then suddenly remembered something.

“Oh no.”

“Hm?” Ye Fangfei looked at him, puzzled.

“I forgot to cook the rice...”

“I thought it was something serious.” Ye Fangfei did not seem bothered. “Four dishes are already more than enough. Where would we find room for rice?”

She was extremely hungry and, without ceremony, picked up her chopsticks and selected a nicely colored rib.

“I’m digging in.”

Lu Zhou sat down as well, watching her expectantly for her verdict.

Ye Fangfei bit into the meat and instinctively hummed in approval. She had already prepared a string of compliments in her mind, but in the next instant, her expression suddenly froze.

“How is it?” Lu Zhou had a bad feeling.

“Uh...” Ye Fangfei hesitated over whether to swallow the meat in her mouth. In the end, she could not bring herself to do it. She stood up, hurried over to pour herself a glass of water, and only managed to swallow the meat with the help of several gulps.

“Too salty?” Lu Zhou could tell from her expression that it definitely did not taste good. He picked up his own chopsticks, took a bite, and his face immediately darkened.

“...” He spat it out.

“I may have accidentally added the salt twice,” he said awkwardly.

“It’s fine. We can rinse off some of the salt with boiling water. It’ll still be edible.” Ye Fangfei comforted him with remarkable generosity.

They then sampled the other three dishes.

The pork had been sliced too thickly. It had probably been overcooked: the lean meat was tough, the fat was greasy, and none of the seasoning had penetrated. It tasted nothing like the legendary twice-cooked pork.

The hot-and-sour shredded potatoes had too much vinegar and were overwhelmingly sour.

In the end, the only edible dish was the scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and there was not much of it.

Ye Fangfei stared at the four plates on the table, doing her best to conceal the tiny expressions flickering across her face.

“You worked hard,” she said with a smile.

The corners of Lu Zhou’s mouth twitched. He gave an awkward laugh. “I knew there was a chance it wouldn’t taste good, but I never expected it to be this terrible.”

Ye Fangfei picked up a rib and rinsed it in boiling water to wash away some of the salt. Laughing, she said, “Watching you throw yourself around in the kitchen like a tiger, I thought you were just being modest—a master chef pretending to be humble...”

She broke into laughter as she spoke.

“Haha. I don’t know whether it’ll turn out well, but I have to put on a strong front first.” Lu Zhou laughed along with her.

Today’s effort had been rather embarrassing.

He pushed the plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes toward Ye Fangfei and said, “Eat this to fill your stomach a little. Stop rinsing those unbearably salty ribs. I’ll make some instant noodles.”

Ye Fangfei truly found the other dishes difficult to swallow, so she gave up.

“Do we have instant noodles?” she asked.

“We do. I suppose they considered that we might not know how to cook and, out of great mercy, prepared several cups for us.”

Lu Zhou got up, found two cups of instant noodles, and poured boiling water into them. Their lunch that day would basically consist of instant noodles.

“What are we going to do for dinner? Are you still brave enough to eat something I cook?” he joked.

Ye Fangfei scratched her forehead. This time, she decided not to spare his feelings.

“Cook again? No, thanks. I’d rather go outside and perform for money so I can buy something edible.”

Lu Zhou: “...”

Livestream—

[Hahaha.]

[That one hit deep, buddy.]

[Lu Zhou: Suffering ten thousand points of critical damage.]

...