Fifty-Eight: Rekindling Old Ties

Lele is no longer the Lele she once was.

Even as I sat in the taxi, I caught sight of her standing at the school gates from afar. After all this time apart, Lele seemed to have changed a great deal, though I couldn't quite pinpoint what exactly was different. Perhaps it was the effect of university—some of her youthful innocence had faded, replaced by a touch of maturity and allure.

"Lele," I called out, paying the fare and hastily getting out to run over. Lele showed no hint of joy at our reunion after so long; she simply stood motionless, and as I approached, she turned and walked straight into the campus. I hurried to catch up, falling in step beside her. We walked together in silence, side by side.

"You're probably hungry," Lele suddenly remarked.

It was already past 2 p.m. without me noticing. I’d left early this morning, caught a bus to the station, then hopped into the taxi bound for Lele’s school. After rushing around all day, it wasn't until Lele mentioned it that I realized how famished I was.

"Yeah, I'm starving," I admitted, scratching my head.

"Come on, I'll take you for a meal," Lele replied. She really had changed—her words were fewer and more precious. I found myself missing the talkative Lele of old; perhaps those days would never return.

It wasn't the weekend, and it happened to be class time in the afternoon, so students hurried everywhere towards their classrooms. Walking beside a beautiful girl, seeing the envious glances from the boys around us, my mood instantly lifted.

"Lele, it's quite an achievement to walk next to you! They must be thinking, 'That guy looks so sketchy, but the girl beside him is gorgeous,'" I couldn't resist teasing her.

Lele didn't reply, only turned and gave me a faint smile.

We moved against the flow of people, and soon arrived at the school cafeteria. While the campus was teeming with students, the cafeteria was nearly deserted—a stark contrast. No wonder, since meal times had long passed. The vast hall was empty, save for a few cooks lounging around tables, joking with each other.

There was no fast food left, so I settled for a simple egg fried rice and began eating.

"Lele, you've become so ladylike lately, I'm barely able to recognize you," I said, biting my chopsticks and glancing at Lele across the table.

Lele rested her chin in her hand, watching me quietly. "Isn't it better if you don't recognize me?"

"Uh, actually, Haozi said you haven't been feeling well recently..." Before I could finish, Lele suddenly shuddered, as if struck by lightning, and her expression became unnatural.

"Lele, are you... alright?" I asked, a bit worried.

"I'm fine, what could possibly be wrong with me?" Lele quickly ducked her head. "You talk too much—just eat!"

Was she really fine? With confusion written all over my face, I shoveled another mouthful of rice.

After we finished eating, Lele offered to show me her dormitory. For someone like me, used to the strict rules of my own school, the girls' dormitory felt almost like forbidden territory, shrouded in mystery.

I had expected gaining entry would be a hassle, but all it took was signing my name with the administrator on the first floor, and I was allowed up without any trouble. Each dorm room had its own balcony, so I couldn't see the rows of international flags flying in the corridors, as in my school. Maybe because this was the girls' dorm, the hallway seemed exceptionally clean and tidy.

"This is my room," Lele announced, opening the door before I could gather my thoughts.

A delicate, fresh scent wafted out to greet me. Inside, the space was not large; four beds lined up neatly along both sides of the room, the upper bunks for sleeping and the lower for desks. Beyond the glass door was a private balcony, with the bathroom situated there.

Perhaps this was the university dorm I had always imagined. I pulled up a chair and sat down. The room was quiet; no one else was present.

Before I could speak, Lele answered my unspoken question. "They’re all in class." She leaned against the window by the balcony, sunlight gilding her silhouette with gold.

"Don’t you have class?" I looked up at Lele, and unexpectedly spotted the Snoopy plush I'd seen once in her room. The faint writing, "Piggy Bei," was still clearly visible.

"You’re here, so of course I’m skipping class to be with you. Isn't that noble?" Lele covered her mouth, as if to hide a smile.

"Lele, you really look beautiful when you smile," I said, gazing at her in a daze. It had been so long since I'd looked at this girl like this—it felt almost like a lifetime ago. My heart ached at the thought.

"Then look all you want—today I’ll let you," Lele said, sitting down beside me and cradling the Snoopy plush in her arms.

Just then, Haozi called me. "Piggy Bei, when did you arrive?"

"Uh, got here at noon. Right now I'm in Lele’s dorm," I glanced at Lele and answered in a low voice.

"Damn, prioritizing girls over friends, huh? You didn’t even tell me you’d arrived, that's cold!" Haozi grumbled, "I even skipped my afternoon English class just to hang out with you!"

"Sorry, I forgot," I apologized. I had intended to contact Haozi, but seeing Lele at the gates made me forget everything else. Now, thinking back, I really felt bad for Haozi.

"Ah, whatever—since you and Lele are meant to be together, I won’t intrude on your reunion. Oh, and tonight, bring Lele out and let’s have dinner together—my treat," Haozi generously forgave me once again.

After dinner, Haozi tactfully left first.

Tomorrow I’d be returning to my own school. As I walked with Lele through the campus, I realized there were things I needed to say now, or I might never have another chance. "Lele..." My voice was soft.

"Hmm?" Lele answered quietly, head bowed.

There were few people on the road; the streetlights cast our shadows, filling the air with the sense of a fateful encounter.

Suddenly, I stopped. "Lele, do you think there’s any chance for us to continue?" I didn't know how to begin, or what words would be appropriate.

Lele turned and gazed at me with a faint melancholy in her eyes. In that instant, I felt lost, overcome by guilt. "Lele, I'm sorry!"

Though I had rehearsed this moment countless times in my mind and prepared every word I would say, when the time came, all I could manage was a trivial "I'm sorry." I hated myself for being so tongue-tied.

"Sorry for what?" Lele turned away, pretending to be unconcerned.

"I..." My mouth hung open, unable to speak. I didn't even know what I was apologizing for, but the look in Lele’s eyes made me feel I must have done something wrong.

"Give me a reason to continue," Lele's tone returned to the coldness she had shown when we first met.

"Because I love you." Perhaps I was never a romantic person, but as the word "love" escaped my lips, I felt my cheeks burning.

"Is that all?" Lele seemed unsatisfied. "That reason doesn’t move me, Piggy Bei."

It had been a long time since anyone called me Piggy Bei. Hearing it now, my heart tightened with emotion. Lele continued walking ahead, gradually widening the distance between us.

Lele, I will never let you slip away again! I resolved in my heart.

I hurried forward, grabbed her wrist, and pulled this beautiful girl tightly into my arms. At first she struggled, but then she fell still, quietly leaning against my chest. I could feel her trembling—Lele was crying.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I repeated over and over, wishing I could say it ten thousand times. "Lele, please don’t leave me again, okay?"

I held her tightly, as if letting go would mean losing her forever.

Lele looked up at me, her eyes swollen and earnest. "Piggy Bei, you know, I had faith in you—that’s why I did what I did. Honestly, I regretted it that morning; if only you had..."

"Don’t say it... Don’t say it anymore, Lele. I was wrong... I promise it’ll never happen again." In that moment, I swore silently that I would spend a lifetime protecting this precious love, and we would never be parted again.

"Do you remember that song? The one we used to love the most?" Lele nestled in my arms, humming softly, "I want to hold your hand and never let go, can love always stay pure and never bring sorrow..."

I wished that song could go on forever, until the day all our teeth fell out, I thought to myself.

(Chapter revised on September 8, 2010)